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Beauty in sound, form and sense in Poetry Translation

 ¡ª¡ª Translation of Classical Chinese Poetry From Chinese to English    

 Öйú¹ÅµäÊ«¸èÓ¢ÒëµÄÒôÃÀ¡¢ÐÎÃÀºÍÒâÃÀ

 

Acknowledgements

      I would like to express my gratitude to all those who helped me during the writhing of this dissertation. A special acknowledgement should be shown to Mr. Zhang, my supervisor, who benefited me a lot, not only in selecting the subject but also in the writing process such as in the essay conception and essay structure. Moreover, I wish to extend my thanks to all the classical Chinese poets and famous poetry translators since I have quoted a lot of their works and words in supporting my argumentation, without these quotations, my dissertation would absolutely lack in proof. Finally, I would like to give my cordial thanks to our university¡¯s library, from which I borrowed a lot of useful reference materials.

Contents

 1£®Introduction ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ 1

2 . Beauty in sound ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ 1

3.  Beauty in form ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ 5

4.  Beauty in sense ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ 8

4.1 False translation of a famous line ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ 8

4.2 Translation of  ¡°puns¡±¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ 9

4.3 Translation of narrative poetry¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ 11

4.4 Contemporary on poetry translation that incurred controversial

 comments ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­13

5.  Conclusion ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­14

References ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ 16

 

Abstract

 Abstract: Classical Chinese poetry, the gem of the Chinese culture and civilization with a long history of three thousand years, is a unity of sound, form and sense. Yet the translated versions usually cannot carry the equal effect and beauty of the original due to the translators¡¯ lack of skill, the differences between the Chinese language and the English language and the inherent differences of cultures and civilizations between the two nations. A poetry translator should not be satisfied with the mere conveying of the original meaning to the target language, but must strive for the preservation and reproduction of the original beauty in sound, form and sense to the utmost degree so as to best bring out the artistic and musical beauty of the original. In this essay, account is given to each of the three aspects, namely, beauty in sound, beauty in form and beauty in sense separately. Beauty in sound mainly consists of beauty in rhythm and beauty in rhyme; beauty in form refers to the regularity of length of poem lines and the syllables each line contains; beauty in sense, the most important element of a poem, lies in the faithfully and artistically conveying of the meaning of the original, which requires the translators¡¯ grasp of the classical Chinese literary history and thorough understanding of the context of the original. On this point, the author further divides her argument into four parts. The first part is about several ridiculous English versions of the famous immortal line ¡°ÑÌ»¨ÈýÔÂÏÂÑïÖÝ¡° of Tang poet Libai ; The second part is on the translation of ¡°puns¡±. To illustrate this point, the author takes two Tang poems as examples, they are respectively Li Shangyin¡¯s ¡°¡­´º²ÏÖÁËÀË¿·½¾¡¡­¡± and Liu Bingxi¡¯s ¡°¡­µÀÊÇÎÞÇçÈ´ÓÐÇç¡­¡±; the third part focuses on the translation of narrative poetry and the author selects the mistaken translations of three lines of Bai Juyi¡¯s ¡¶³¤ºÞ¸è¡·as examples and gives analyses on the mistakes made; The fourth part is about poetry translations that irritate controversial comments. Last but not least is the conclusion of this dissertation, the author unites the three aspects given before into a unity and claims that a good poetry translation should be the preservation and reproduction of the three aspects of the original. Yet due to the formidable barriers in achieving this perfection, sometimes it¡¯s inevitable to sacrifice one aspect for another less important.

Key words: classical Chinese poetry    beauty in sound    beauty in form    beauty in sense   

  Õª  Òª

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1.Introduction

It has long been believed that prose is words in best order; poetry is the best words in the best order. For me, Poetry, especially the classical Chinese poetry, not only has artistic features but also musical quality that combines sound, form and sense perfectly. Chinese poetry displays to us a fascinating world of great enchantment, intensive affection and profound meaning. In this world, readers can even smell the fresh fragrance of flower given off from the surface of the poetry. With a long history of three thousand years, it is the gem of Chinese culture and civilization. Since good things need good means of conveying, or they will be nothing, to make classical Chinese poetry go farther and get more popularized in the outside world calls for good translation of it.

How to translate the Chinese poetry into foreign language with the preservation of its original enchantment to the greatest extent? In my opinion, a poetry translator should be far from satisfied with the mere conveying of the ideas in the original, but must strive for the recreation and reproduction of the original beauty in sound, form and sense. Only in this way, can a translation version best bring out the artistic and musical beauty of the original to the foreign readers.

2. Beauty in sound

E. A. poe described poetry as ¡° music¡­combined with a pleasure idea.¡± Li

Dongyang, a famous literary critic in the Ming Dynasty claimed that what makes poetry different from prose is that it possesses regulated sounds and can be recited. Similarly, Liu xie, a famous ancient literary critic, once alleged in his The Literary Mind and the Carving of Dragons, ¡° The words which set to a piece of music are poetry¡±£¨ ÀîÌØ·ò¡¢³Â½¡¾°£¬2001£©. Their remarks unanimously unveiled the mystery of sound, which endows the poetry with unique beauty of ¡°musical quality¡±. It is obvious to the most uninitiated readers that poetry makes greater use of the ¡°music¡± of language than does language that is not poetry.

Beauty in sound mainly consists of beauty in rhythm and beauty in rhyme. In Chinese classical poetry, rhythm is mainly created by oblique and even tones, which can be reproduced in the English version by stressed or unstressed syllables. That is to say, a poem may be translated in iambics, trochaics, anapaestics or dactylics.

As for rhymes, since all Chinese classical poems are written in rhyme, no English versions without rhyme could reproduce a similar effect to the original.

Cambridge professor Herbert A. Giles was a most famous translator in the 19th century, and the poems collected in his works were of hundreds of years ago, yet readers of his time were tempted to believe that these translated poems ranked among the best ever known. Giles¡¯ success was due to the fact that he had united rhyme and literalness with wonderful dexterity.

The following is his translation of Tang poet Li Bai¡¯s ¡¶ÔÂ϶À×á· (Drink Alone under the moon)  

»¨¼äÒ»ºø¾Æ£¬¶À×ÃÎÞÏàÇס£¾Ù±­ÑûÃ÷Ô£¬¶ÔÓ°³ÉÈýÈË¡£Ô¼Ȳ»½âÒû£¬Ó°Í½ËæÎÒÉí¡£ÔÝ°éÔ½«Ó°£¬ÐÐÀÖÐë¼°´º¡£ÎÒ¸èÔÂÅÇ»²£¬ÎÒÎèÓ°ÁãÂÒ¡£ÐÑʱͬ½»»¶£¬×íºó¸÷·ÖÉ¢¡£ÓÀ½áÎÞÇéÓΣ¬ÏàÆÚÑûÔƺº¡£

An arbor of flowers

   and a kettle of wine:

Alas! In the bowers

   no companion is mine.

Then the moon sheds her rays

   on my goblet and me,

And my shadow betrays

   we¡¯re a party of three!

Though the moon cannot swallow

   her share of the grog,

And my shadow must follow

   wherever I jog,

Yet their friendship I¡¯ll borrow

   and gaily carouse,

And laugh away sorrow

   while spring-time allows.

See the moon¡ªhow she glances

response to my song;

See my shadow¡ªit dances

    so lightly along!

While sober I feel,

    you are both my good friends;

While drunken I reel,

    our companionship ends,

But we¡¯ll soon have a greeting

    without a goodbye,

At our next merry meeting

    away in the sky.

 ¡° Flowers¡± in line 1 rhymes with ¡°bowers¡± in line 2; ¡°wine¡± in line 3 rhymes with ¡°mine¡± in line 4; ¡°rays¡± in line 5 rhymes ¡°betrays¡± in line 7¡­ In this way, Giles was successful in keeping the English version rhymed to reproduce beauty in sound.

To further illustrate the importance and significance of beauty in sound, let¡¯s compare three different translation versions of Li Bai¡¯s¡¶¾²Ò¹Ë¼¡·£¨Night Thoughts£©.

´²Ç°Ã÷Ô¹⣬ÒÉÊǵØÉÏ˪¡£¾ÙÍ·ÍûÃ÷Ô£¬µÍͷ˼¹ÊÏç¡£     

(1) I descry bright moonlight in front of my bed.

I suspect it to be hoary frost on the floor.

I watch the bright moon, as I tilt back my head.

I yean, while stooping, for my homeland more.

¡ª¡ª by Xu Zhongjie.

(2) Abed, I see a silver light,

I wonder if it¡¯s frost aground.

Looking up, I find the moon bright;

Browing, in homesickness I¡¯m drowned.

¡ª¡ª by Xu Yuanchong.

£¨3£©So bright a gleam on the foot of my bed¡ª

Could there have been a frost already?

Lifting my head to look, I found that it was moonlight.

 Sinking back again, I thought suddenly of home.

¡ª¡ª by Tr. Writter Bynner

Although those three versions are all considered good, the first and the second versions are better in sound. In the first two versions, line 1 rhymes with line 3; line 2 rhymes with line 4. By contrast, the third one is not rhymed. So far as the beauty in sound is concerned, it is obvious that the first two versions are better for they possess beautiful ¡°musical quality¡± when read. Musical quality is the unique characteristic of poetry making it distinguished from other literary forms. In addition, compared to the first, the second is not only rhymed, but also succinct in words, which makes it sound like the Chinese regulated verse, while the first uses too many ¡°I¡± s , which make it sound a little clumsy.

3. Beauty in form

While listening to music, the audience, without a thorough understanding of the composer¡¯s true implication, may still be moved deeply, So is the case with classical poetry. Some good poems, in many cases, have not been comprehended, but they, due to the artistic charm in form, have always been spoken highly of. Beauty in form endows poetry, or rather, classical Chinese poetry with musical quality and plays a key role in making them widely appreciated over generations. Zhu Guangqian, an aesthete once said in The Theory of Poetry, ¡° Form is the soul of poetry.¡± (Öì¶ð£¬2001). Poetry, especially classical Chinese poetry, is strict with form. It¡¯s better for a verse translator to resemble his version to preserve the beauty of the original in form, which lies chiefly in line length and parallelism.

Again look into Giles¡¯ translation version of ¡° Drink Alone Under the Moon¡±, and It¡¯s not difficult to find out that all the lines respectively has syllables between five to seven. In addition, ¡°an arbor of flowers¡± parallels to ¡°a kettle of wine¡±; ¡°cannot swallow¡± parallels to ¡°must follow¡±; ¡°I feel¡± parallels to ¡°I reel¡±¡­In this way, Giles not only further reproduces the beauty in sound, but also preserves the beauty in form, striving for making the English version adopt as much musical quality as possible by regulated sound and form.

The following is a famous poem of Tang poet Chen ZiAng£º

Ç°²»¼û¹ÅÈË£¬ºó²»¼ûÀ´Õß¡£ÄîÌìµØÖ®ÓÆÓÆ£¬¶ÀâëÈ»¶øÌéÏ¡£

Liu Wuji , Professor of Indiana University in America, translated it as :

I fail to see ancient before my time,

Or after me the generations to come.

Thinking of the eternity of Heaven and Earth,

All alone, sadly I shed tears.

The translation version conveys the beauty of sense, yet it¡¯s not rhymed, thus, lacks in beauty of sound. In addition, every line is different in length: line 1 and line 2 respectively has eleven syllables, lines 3 has thirteen while line 4 only has eight, thus, lacks in beauty of form. Let¡¯s look at another version:

Where are the sages of the past

And those of future years?

Sky and earth forever last

Lonely, I shed sad tears.

¡ª¡ªfrom Translation Communication

Compared to the former translation, the latter is much better. First, it¡¯s rhymed; Second, it¡¯s succinct; third, it¡¯s well formed¡ª¡ªthere are six or seven syllables in every line to resemble the original whose lines adopting five or six syllables, and ¡°the sage of the past¡± more or less parallels to ¡°those of future years¡±. Just as Xu Yuanchong said: ¡°¡­regularity shows beauty in form¡±, the latter is much superior to the former and reads much more beautiful.

The third example is Li Bai¡¯s ¡¶ÇéÔ¹¡·£¨Tears£©:

ÃÀÈ˾íÖéÁ±£¬Éî×øò­¶êü¡£µ«¼ûÀáºÛʪ£¬²»ÖªÐĺÞË­¡£

Giles translated it as:

A fair girl draws the blind aside, And sadly sits with drooping head;

I see her burning tear drops glide, But know not why those tears are shed.

The original is a five syllable regulated verse. And there are 9 syllables in every line of the translation, which is as regular in form as that of the original. Let¡¯s look at another translation version:

Beautiful is this woman who rolls up the peal-reed blind, She sits in an inner chamber,

And her eyebrows, delicate as a moth¡¯s antennae, Are drawn with grief.

One sees only the wet lines of tears.

For whom does she suffer this misery?

We do not know.

This version by Lowell is inferior to Giles¡¯, for both the line length and the syllables in every line are quite different and cannot best convey the beauty in form of the original. Actually, in the process of translation, all the good translations of classical poetry take beauty in form into consideration. The following are two translation versions of Wang Huanzhi¡¯s ¡¶µÇðÙȸ§¡·£¨An Ascent to Stork Hall£©

°×ÈÕÒÀɽ¾¡£¬ »ÆºÓÈ뺣Á÷¡£ÓûÇîǧÀïÄ¿£¬¸üÉÏÒ»²ãÂ¥¡£

The setting sun behind the mountains glows,

The muddy Yellow River seawards flows.

If more distant views are what you desire,

You simply climb up a storey higher.

¡ª¡ª by Xu Zhongjie

The sun beyond the mountains glows;

The Yellow River seawards flows.

You can enjoy a grander sight

By climbing to a greater height.

¡ª¡ª by Xu Yuanchong:

.  Both the two versions deal with the beauty in sound and form masterly. Look into their syllables, you may notice that there are 10 in every line of the first version and 8 in every line of the second one. What¡¯s more, both the two versions are rhymed and paralleled in the first and the second lines.

4. Beauty in sense

The sense is an essential, or rather, the most important component of a poem. The translation of a poem must remain to be a poem. That is the first thing we should never forget. And secondly, it should be faithful to the original. A translator only has the obligation to retain the sense and spirit of the original, but no right to make any alteration, not even for the pure sake of pursuing beauty. Yet if a translation could both convey the original beauty in sense and be faithful to the original in meaning, it¡¯s better. And this should be a poetry translator¡¯s consistent aim in the process of translation.

4.1 False translation of a famous line

Professor Weng Xianliang stated in the Translation Communication£¨¶Å³ÐÄÏ£¬Îľü,1994£©. that ¡°ÑÌ»¨ÈýÔÂÏÂÑïÖÝ¡±has long been regarded as ¡° a most splendid and immortal line¡±, yet from the following four English versions, I¡¯m afraid no English reader would agree to that, but simply get totally puzzled.

(1)       The smoke-flowers are blurred over the river.¡ª¡ª by Ezra Pound

(2)       In march, among smoking flowers, making your way to Yangchow.¡ª¡ª from White Pony

(3)       He leaves for Yangzhou in the third moon of the spring.¡ª¡ª by Liu Shishun

(4)       Mid April mists and blossoms go, ¡­¡ª¡ª by John Tourner

None of the four translators realized that this line is so called ¡°a most splendid and immortal line¡± is just because that the poet¡¯s friend left for ¡°ÑïÖÝ¡±(place) at the time of ¡°ÑÌ»¨ÈýÔ¡±(time). Neither the ¡°place¡± nor the ¡°time¡± can be neglected, or it would not convey the effect of arousing the readers¡¯ imaginary of beauty. 

What does ¡°ÑÌ»¨ÈýÔ¡±mean? All the four translators mistranslated it by ¡°smoke-flowers¡±, ¡°smoking flowers¡±, ¡°the third moon¡± or ¡°mists and blossoms¡±. Actually, ¡°ÑÌ»¨ÈýÔ¡± has nothing to do with smoke, mist or moon at all. the mistakes were made because all the above translators translated the Chinese words according to its ¡°surface meaning¡±, which, in the Chinese poetry, cannot always carry the same meaning as its ¡°actual meaning¡±. A translator has to grasp some historical and cultural knowledge so as to analyze its actual meaning lying under the surface meaning. Just as the Tang Song Selected Poetry Analysis explains: ¡°ÑÌ»¨¡±refers to the charming spring scenery, where willows are green, and flowers are beautiful¡±.(³ÐÄÏ£¬Îľü£¬1994). Thus, it would be much better for the line to be translated as ¡°Leave for Yangzhou in spring green with willow and red with flowers¡±.

4.2 Translation of  ¡°puns¡±

To translate a line faithfully to its ¡°actual meaning¡± is not an easy job, yet more difficult is the case of translating ¡°puns¡±. Take Li Shangyin¡¯s poem for example: Ïà¼ûʱÄѱðÒàÄÑ£¬¶«·çÎÞÁ¦°Ù»¨²Ð¡£´º²ÏÖÁËÀË¿·½¾¡£¬À¯¾æ³É»ÒÀáʼ¸É¡­¡­ To translate this poem, one should make a study of the background of the poet and know exactly what this poem was written for. Li Shangyin was regarded as ¡°the most amorous male poet¡± in Chinese history. He was in love with a female Taoist; what¡¯s more, this Taoist was living in the palace to serve for the Emperor. Such kind of love was doomed to be vain from the beginning, yet the poet couldn¡¯t withhold his intensive affection for her and his love-sick feelings saw no bound. He confided his affection and sadness in his poems and this is one of them. In this poem, ¡°´º²ÏÖÁËÀË¿·½¾¡¡± is an immortally famous line, in which the poet expressed his ¡°Ë¼¡±by the homonym of ¡°Ë¿¡±, meaning that his ¡°Ë¼¡±£¨love-sick£©would be endless until he shall die. This tenderness was realistically crystallized by the image of ¡°´º²Ï¡±(silkworm), making the readers more heart-touched. How to translate the pun ¡°Ë¿¡± to preserve beauty of sense of the original? I extract a translation version form the Translation Communication for your appreciation:

It¡¯s difficult for us to meet and hard to part,

The east wind is too weak to revive flowers dead.

The silkworm till its death spins silk from love-sick heart;

The candle burned to ashes has tears to shed

¡­

In the original, line 1 uses ¡°ÄÑ¡± twice, and the translation adopts the translation artifice of ¡°equivalent effect¡± by using two different words ¡°difficult¡± and ¡°hard¡± to equivalently express ¡°ÄÑ¡±; In line 2, the translator adopted ¡°depth¡± translation by adding one verb ¡°survive¡±, which doesn¡¯t surface in the original, but hiding in the depth under the surface, between ¡°¶«·çÎÞÁ¦¡± and ¡°°Ù»¨²Ð¡±; In line 3, ¡°Ë¿¡± was literally translated as ¡°silk¡±, while conveying its connotative meaning ¡°Ë¼¡± at the same time by ¡°love-sick¡±. In this way, the translator not only conveyed beauty in sound and form, but also faithfully and heart-touchingly conveyed beauty in sense of the ¡°pun¡± from the original.

Similar is Liu Bingxi¡¯s¡¶ÖñÖ¦¡·£¨Bamboo Branch£©, which is also a love poem£º

ÑîÁøÇàÇ཭ˮƽ£¬ÎÅÀɽ­Éϳª¸èÉù¡£¶«±ßÈÕ³öÎ÷±ßÓ꣬µÀÊÇÎÞÇçÈ´ÓÐÇç¡£

In line 4, ¡°Ç硱 is a pun, literally it means ¡°sunny¡±, connotatively it means ¡°affection¡± , it is difficult yet necessary to convey its literal as well as the connotative sense in translation. The following English version, which was extracted from the Foreign Language, in my opinion, is wonderful in doing that:

Between the willow green the river flows along,

My beloved in a boat is heard singing a song.

The west is veiled in rain, the east basks in sunshine,

My beloved is as deep in love as the day is fine.

 (Is he singing with love? Ask if the day is fine.)

Both the literal and the connotative meanings of the pun ¡°Ç硱 were brought out by ¡°the day is fine¡± and ¡°deep in love¡±, thus, faithfully conveying the beauty of sense to the English readers.

4.3 Translation of narrative poetry

The above is the ¡°most difficult¡± translation in classical Chinese poetry, then what is the most easy one? Does the so-called ¡°easy-to-translate¡± poem is really easy to translate? Well, in classical Chinese poetry history, It is said that the most ¡°easy-to-translate¡± poetry should be narrative poetry, and the most ¡°easy-to-translate¡± narrative poetry should be those of Bai Juyi. However, even so, some well-known translators still make ridiculous mistakes in translating it. Take some extracts of Ju Lishi¡¯s translation of Bai Juyi¡¯s ¡¶³¤ºÞ¸è¡·as examples.

1.     ÔÆ÷Þ»¨¹Ú½ð²½Ò¡£¬Ü½ÈØÕÊů¶È´ºÏü¡£

His translation is: Hair like a cloud, face like a flower, headdress which quivered as she walked,

Amid the delights of the hibiscus pavilion.

She passed the soft spring nights.

Since ¡°½ð²½Ò¡¡±is very difficult to translate in English, it¡¯s all right in translating it this way, yet the following sentence really goes too far¡ª¡ª In the original,¡°ÕÊ¡± refers to bed curtain, ¡°Ü½ÈØ¡± means lotus in English, and refers to beautiful bed curtain made of fabric with the patterns of lotus. But in the translated version, the translator misunderstood it with ¡°hibiscus pavilion¡±, which is really a big mistake.

2.     ½ðÎÝ×±³É½¿ÊÌÒ¹

His translation is:

Passing her life in a ¡° golden house¡±

With fair girls to wait on her

¡°½ðÎݲؽ¿¡±is actually a well known phrase in China over generations meaning hiding a beautiful lover in an exclusive house. Thus, here ¡°½¿¡± doesn¡¯t refer to ¡°fairy girls waiting on her¡±, but simply refers to ¡°her¡± (Princess Yang, Emperor Tang¡¯s favorite concubine, one of the ¡°four beauties¡± in classical Chinese history). Mr Ju made another mistake at this point.

3.     ¿ÉÁ¯¹â²ÊÉúÃÅ»§

He translated it as: Alas! For the ill-omened glories which she conferred on her family

In classical Chinese poetry, ¡°¿ÉÁ¯¡± was always holding a positive meaning, while in nowadays it means passively as ¡°pitiful¡±. Mr Ju misunderstood its classical meaning with nowadays¡¯ meaning, thus another mistake being made.

4.4 Contemporary on poetry translation that incurred controversial comments

 Since classical Chinese poetry translation is among the most comprehensive translations of all the literary genres, there have been different comments on the same translations. A reader should use his own wisdom and sense to analyze a translation rather than follow others¡¯ comments.  For example, the English Versions of One Hundred Tang Poetry, the Translation Communication and Huang Xinqu¡¯s Several Viewpoints unanimously made criticisms on Zhang Jiuling¡¯s ¡¶×Ô¾ýÖ®³öÒÓ¡·(Since My Lord Left):

×Ô¾ýÖ®³öÒÓ£¬²»¸´Àí²Ð»ú¡£Ë¼¾ýÈçÂúÔ£¬Ò¹Ò¹¼õÇå»Ô¡£

Giles translated it as:

Since my lord left¡ªah me, unhappy hours!¡ª

The half-spun web hang idly in my bowers;

My heart is like the full moon, full of pains,

It¡¯s always full and never wanes.

L¨· Shuxiang commented this version as, ¡°The last two lines are of beauty in sense, yet unfaithful to the original, when translated back into Chinese, they are ¡®Ë¼¾ýÈôÃ÷Ô£¬ÖÕËêÎÞÓ¯¿÷¡¯¡±! . Huang Xinqu also criticized, ¡°What a pity that the last two lines are mistranslated and the sense of the whole poem vanished. He translated the rhymed poem into rhymed poem, thus, obtained the beauty in sound and form, but neglected the faithfulness in sense¡ªthe most essential component of a poem.¡± Does this version really lose its original sense? I don¡¯t think so but totally agree to another kind of viewpoint in the Translation Communication: In the version, there are ¡°full of pains¡± in line 3, that is to say, the moon is not the common moon, but a moon full of pain connoting that a person was full of pains. Thus, the following sentence ¡°It¡¯s always full and never wanes¡± doesn¡¯t mean the common full moon never wanes but the moon full of pains connoting that the person¡¯s pains are always full in the heart without lessening. In this way, though when separated, ¡°never wanes¡± in the translated version and ¡°¼õÇå»Ô¡± in the original poem hold contrary meaning, taking the context of the version into consideration, they are in consistence with each other. Giles didn¡¯t sacrifice faithfulness for beauty, but recreated dexterously the beauty of sound, form and sense simultaneously!

5. Conclusion

In the previous parts, I have given account to each of the three aspects separately. In fact, in order to best keep the spirit of charm of the original poetry, a translator should take into consideration every aspect simultaneously in his practice. That is to say, to best reproduce the beauty in sound, form, and sense in translating. Nevertheless, because of differences of words and culture between the Chinese language and the English language, there are always formidable barriers in conveying the three ¡°beauties¡± altogether at the same time, in such cases it is inevitable to sacrifice or ignore one ¡°beauty¡± for another. In my opinion, among the three ¡°beauties¡±, the most important one should be beauty in sense, the second is beauty in sound, and the third is beauty in form. Needless to say, the best translation is the one that unites all the three ¡°beauties¡± altogether, and this, has always been every poetry translators¡¯ ultimate goal and life-long pursuit. In the history of classical Chinese poetry, there is no lack of such excellent translation. Take the translation of Liu Zongyuan¡¯s ¡¶½­Ñ©¡·by Xu Yuanchong for example:

ǧɽÄñ·É¾ø£¬Íò¾¶ÈË×ÙÃð¡£

¹ÂÖÛËòóÒÎÌ£¬¶Àµõº®½­Ñ©¡£

 Fishing In Snow

From hill to hill no bird in flight

From path to path no man in sight

A straw-cloak¡¯d man in a boat, lo!

Fishing on river clad in snow.

Firstly, the original poem portrays the scenery of ¡°serenity¡± and ¡°cool beauty¡±, where a straw-cloaked man was fishing ¡°lonely¡± in the snow.  This picturesque scenery in the translation is conveyed lively and naturally. It really shows us a beautiful picture. So far as the beauty in sense is concerned, I think it is as deep and delicate as the original.

Secondly, the rhythm is fluent and natural. It rhymes in every stanza, which reads smoothly and sound pleasantly to the ear. It means that it lacks no beauty in sound.

Thirdly, it consists of four lines as the original. There are 5 syllables in the original, and 8 syllables in every line in the translation, which shows the regularity, and thus faithfully conveys the beauty in form of the original. This is really an entirely successful example of Tang poem translation.

From the above analysis it can be seen that the process of classical Chinese poetry translation is actually a process of recreation and reproduction of the original beauty in sound, form and sense. This process of creating and reproducing the three aspects in the English language is by no means an easy job, but being a poetry translator, he should always keep in mind the three ¡°beauties¡± in translation and take this as his consistent aim to try his best to bring more artistic and musical beauty to the English readers.                  

               

 

 

 

 

 

References

ÀîÌØ·ò£¬³Â½¡¾°. Elegance in Rendering Classical Chinese Poetry. 2001.

ÀÑà. Beauty in sense, Sound and Form in Poetry Translation. ÄÚÃɹÅ: ÄÚÃɹŽÌÓýѧԺѧ±¨, 2000.

ÍõÏþ¾ü,κÈý¾ü. Contemplation on Accuracy in Chinese Poetry Translation. »ª¶«: ʯÓÍ´óѧÍâ¹úÓïѧԺѧ±¨, 2001.

Öì¶ð. Beauty in Form, Sound and Sense in Reproduction of the Style. ÔÆÄÏ: ÕÑͨʦ·¶¸ßµÈר¿ÆѧУѧ±¨, 2001.

³ÐÄÏ£¬Îľü. µ±´úÖйú·­Òë°ÙÂÛ. ÖØÇ죺ÖØÇì´óѧ³ö°æÉç, 1994.

·ëÇ컪. ʵÓ÷­Òë½Ì³Ì. ÉϺ££ºÉϺ£ÍâÓï½ÌÓý³ö°æÉç, 2002.

ÐíÔ¨³å. ·­ÒëµÄÒÕÊõ. ±±¾©: Öйú¶ÔÍâ·­Òë³ö°æ¹«Ë¾, 1984.

 

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